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June 12, 2015 By Phillip Retuta

Las Vegas.

2015-04-26-08.27.39

Well, it’s been awhile since I’ve posted anything on my blog. I can give out a shit ton of excuses as to why, with the common justifications being work, other projects, and a social life (all true), but down to the root of the matter, I’ve just been too lazy to write.

So here I am, ready to spill whatever interesting and intimate moments I’ve had in the past month and a half. However, seeing that no one has been knocking on my door or bombarding my email inbox to update, I’ll bide my time to churn out these posts of my recent trips and experiences.

First off, as I had mentioned a while back, I went to Las Vegas for my birthday. Initially it was supposed to be a few of my friends who would accompany me to celebrate my 32nd birthday, but it ended up just being Brett. All in all, it was a good trip: I racked up some mileage points and spent some time with a good friend who I have this weird, “I love you, dude” and “You’re the worst person” relationship with. I did gamble a lot, and I learned how to play roulette. I shot a machine gun. I got some drunk chick’s number. I ate way too much at the buffets, and even when I said, “Fuck this, no more buffets, I’m having a single meal,” the portions were massive and indulgent. My aunt and uncle treated me to the buffet at The Bellagio. I got my 7th tattoo of the number 7 on my birthday-birthday. I even met up with my old classmate Neha, and we caught up with each other’s lives and the lives of our mutual friends in graduate school.

By the end of it all, I left Las Vegas $300 richer — which was great, considering the last time I visited Vegas, I was 19 and could not legally gamble or drink. During my last night alone and walking along The Strip with an open container, I won about $100 on roulette. And as I boarded the plane back to NYC with cash in hand and no hangover, I felt accomplished in the sense that I had self-control in a city of utter temptation.

Now for some pointers if you’re ever going to Las Vegas:

  • Know when you’re ahead and when you’re at a loss; it’s best to gamble with that aforementioned self-control, and if you take a break after losing $20 at a game and later resume, you’ll find yourself at a profit.
  • There’s more the Nevada than Vegas. On my second day, I hiked along the Valley of Fire mountain trails. It was fucking beautiful.
  • If you’re a smoker like me, Vegas is a goddamn paradise. You can puff away at a cigarette, and literally into a crowd of people without being self-conscious.
  • Shooting a gun is scary and unnerving at first, but 15 minutes after firing all your rounds, you get that sense of power that compensates over whatever emotional weaknesses and insecurities you have. No wonder the NRA push for carrying weapons around.
  • If you ask for a salad, you get the entire goddamn salad bar.
  • Old Vegas (aka The Freemont Experience) is full of drunk douchebags. The Strip is full of drunker, douchier douchebags. I liked the Freemont area, just because everything was more accessible.
  • People anywhere outside of New York City are, in fact, nicer and more polite. This includes Vegas.
  • If you have an important work meeting in another coast, be sure to Skype in poolside to leave your coworkers extremely jealous.
  • The airports have slot machines, but god-knows-where you can redeem your winnings.
  • After 1 or 2 days in Vegas, it’s about time to leave. I stayed for 4 days, and it was 3 days too long.

And here are some pictures:

Filed Under: Friends, Travel

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Born 1983. UX/UI and Digital Designer. Illustrator. Dog Owner. Coffee Enthusiast. Pizza Lover.

I love over-thinking the simplest of things and making stuff at every waking moment: comics, food, videos, photos... you name it. This blog is a record of my work, my exploits, and my philosophical, political, and psychological ideologies. So enjoy reading my dumb ideas and inane rants that I'd otherwise be ashamed to verbally speak out in public.

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  • Phillip N. Retuta#365 2021.01.24: Have Dog, Will Travel. https://t.co/ns4aJIYl7d, 19 hours ago
  • Phillip N. Retuta#365 2021.01.23: Last Day of Dog Training/Meeting Up with a Co-Worker at Fort Greene Park. https://t.co/y2sVYKkeox, Jan 24 21
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