Phillip Retuta's Blog

The Life and Times of a Filipino-American

Archives for April 2015

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Blogging At The Bearded Lady.

I’ve been sitting, alone, at my favorite bar in Brooklyn, nursing a top-shelf whiskey and watching the ice cubes melt into the alcohol. And I’m blogging. On my phone.

It’s been two hours — two hours I don’t necessarily regret being by myself and talking to my bartenders, but on a superficial onset it might seem a little depressing. However, I take full responsibility for where I am and the lackthereof company I’m currently keeping.

I’m waiting for any number of friends to show up for a small birthday celebrstion, and it’s given me time to think. For instance, what if I wrote a bunch of Emojis here? Would they look differently on mobile versus desktop? Let’s find out:

‍‍✊✖️✊

In all seriousness, though, what’s been most pressing on my mind is the relationship I have with any given friend. I’m leaving for Vegas tomorrow, and I just received news that one of my good friends decided not to come the day before we fly. As a result, it’s just me and Brett Harmon (I predicted that my other friends would not come for some reason or another, despite their initial enthusiasm, and a huge part of me — the self-depracative part — is relishing in the fact that I was right).

No, I’m not questioning whether or not I’m a good friend or a good person in general (side note: I am). I’m questioning whether or not any relationship I have would do the same things I do for them. I think my expectations of my friends and family and those close to me are high, and I’m looking for such reciprocation. But here I am, by myself and going on a trip with just one friend. As a result I need to lower these expectations of people. I need to stop acting so selfless and expect the same kind of kindness in return. It’s bordering on narcissism, and it’s totally the behavior of a co-dependent person; I don’t want to be that.

So here’s a birthday wish for my 32nd year of life: I wish to stop caring so much. I wish to stop putting the effort into making other people happy. Let them live their own lives, and I’ll do the same: enjoying a Four Roses at the end of the bar, writing and thinking.

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Can You Guess What The Phil Is Cooking?

recipes

A month or two ago, I was cleaning and reorganizing my room and found an empty sketchbook and a few photos of food I’ve made. It was my original intention — probably since two years ago — to compile a cookbook of my original recipes. As most of my friends and family know, I love to cook (as much as I love to fucking eat), and it seemed logical that I collect all the recipes I’ve produced over the years, photograph them, and write them down in a bound sketchbook. My hope is that one day I’ll pass this cookbook onto my children, a loved one, or some hapless individual who’s clearing out all the shit from my mansion once I’m long dead.

Cooking to me is just another form of creativity. It’s like a drawing or a movie, but you can eat it. Food may not be as permanent as art, but it still needs the insight and skill to craft it. And if you’re smart about it, it can look great.

Here’s a recipe that’s included in my cookbook. It’s simple, and I don’t want to share all my secrets or more complex recipes just in case my food gets me famous one day:

Watermelon and Prosciutto

  • 1/2 Seedless Watermelon
  • 1/2 Pound Prosciutto Di Parma
  • Bunch of Fresh Basil
  • Block of Parmesan Cheese
  • Baguette, Cut and Toasted
  • Ground Black Pepper
  • Olive Oil to Drizzle
  • Salt to Taste

Cut watermelon into 1 to 1.5 inch slices, anywhere from 0.5 to 1 inch in thickness. Layer a slice of Prosciutto onto a toasted baguette piece. Using a vegetable peeler, shave slivers of parmesan onto the Prosciutto/baguette slices. Add a leaf of fresh basil, then a piece of watermelon on top. Sprinkle with salt, ground pepper, and olive oil.

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Vacation Days: Where In The World Is Phillip Retuta?

ohare

I’m calculating my vacation days here at work, and after a birthday weekend in Vegas (late April), Pitchfork Music Festival in Chicago (July), a friend’s wedding in Wisconsin (November), and some extra days for Christmas (er, December), I have an additional 9 days of vacation left. Since they don’t carry over to 2016, I pose this question: where should I go?

Should I stay in New York? Visit my family in Chicago or Los Angeles? Portland? Out of the country? I’m open for suggestions.

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Show Your Work!

ShowYourWork

 

The stupidest creative act is still a creative act.
-Clay Shirky, Cognitive Surplus.

The other night, I fell into one of those moods where I was unmotivated and unacknowledged and generally unhappy. I was out at a bar with some of my friends, and after one drink, I decided to step out for a cigarette and ultimately walk home without saying goodbye to anybody. I felt unfulfilled with the personal work that I was producing (rather, wanting to produce), and the fact that I’ve been unable to afford the time or the space to make anything – coupled with the notion that none of my friends really care about the creative work that I do – just bummed me out.

I’m a visual person, you know? I felt, “what’s the point of producing something visual if no one sees it or cares about it?”

I went to work early the next day, still feeling listless and apathetic, but on my morning ride across the Manhattan Bridge, I remembered my artist friend Monica leant me Austin Kleon’s latest book, Show Your Work. It’s been sitting in my backpack for weeks already, unread and untouched. I pulled it out and began reading.

Now I’ve always been a fan of Kleon’s work, and I subscribe to his creative philosophy of constantly borrowing, sharing, and producing ideas. His last book, Steal Like An Artist, was a source of great inspiration but felt like an incredibly short read. Still, I admire Kleon’s design sensibilities, and the way that he works and thinks is something that all designers (and let’s just lump in all creative people) need to do: just borrow ideas from both your peers and heroes, and make make make. Consequently, you’re bound to produce something brilliant and respected.

He’s a motivator.

As I read Show Your Work, it reaffirmed everything that I do: if I keep on putting the effort into something I love, I might get the appreciation I’m looking for. And even if I go through my entire life without a sense of acknowledgement from my friends, peers, or the creative environment as a whole, I can still take comfort that I’m doing what I love. Now I’m not through the entire book yet, but Show Your Work gives the type of retrospection someone in the creative field needs; you examine who you are as a designer, an artist, or a writer, and by exhibiting/sharing everything from the idea to the process to the final product, you’re bound to get either the respect or self-respect you deserve. You just need to find confidence in your voice.