Food

February 13, 2020 By Phillip Retuta

Oaxaca: Criollo.

While in Oaxaca, some friends and I went to Criollo, another world-famous restaurant founded by Chef Enrique Olvera of Pujol and Cosme and Chef Luis Arellano. Amanda, Rustine, Brian, Morgan, and myself walked from our AirBnB to the outskirts of the city center, where you pass by an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet and a Little Ceaser’s in order to get to Criollo. When you first enter the renovated colonial mansion, you’re immediately inside the kitchen and led to the dining area outside: a huge backyard with an open ceiling — you’re literally dining under the stars. While walking past more potted succulents and cacti than I can count, I wondered what happens if it starts raining. I also wondered what happens if it ever gets cold in Oaxaca.

Despite my concerns, the place was beautiful. There are fire pits scattered throughout the dining area, and an entire garden is tucked away even further back. The interior design and overall atmosphere Criollo had a nice, rustic feel — even the garbage cans inside the bathroom were lined with dried corn husks, the kind you’d make tamales out of. I couldn’t decide if this was merely for aesthetics, or somehow cornhusks have a utilitarian use for used toilet paper or paper towels. Still, if I ever lived in a small city like Oaxaca, I’d love to live in a house this size and immediately hire the interior decorator.

The kitchen with Chef Arellano (on the right). Taken by Amanda.

The menu was set and changes every night, but the amount of food was impressive. We were first given a glass of wine and some homemade tortilla chips with two different kinds of salsa.

Immediately after, we were then given a local microbrew, a very tasty IPA that even my friend Morgan — who never drinks beer — enjoyed.

After some small talk and halfway through the drinks, we were served a pair of appetizers: ceviche with a spicy mayo base and some tetelas, tortillas stuffed with beans and generously topped with guacamole.

Ceviche with spicy mayo and a side of salsa.

Next, we were served two house cocktails — one mezcal-based with an orangey finish and one gin-based. I guess they apparently paired well with more appetizers: we were served some delicious mushroom soup and a salad lightly sprinkled with goat cheese. The soup — though I failed to take a photo of it — was perhaps my favorite dish.

House mezcal with a mezcal cocktail. Yup, a lot of mezcal.

The server then brought out an entire jug of mezcal and started pouring shooters of it to my friends and me. If Criollo’s goal for its patrons is to get them tipsy, then the five different alcoholic drinks throughout the dinner definitely accomplished that.

We had two main entrees: a braised short rib dish with warm tortillas and some sea bass (pictured above). I’m not a seafood eater by any means (in fact, I avoid seafood), but the sea bass was delicious. It was perhaps my second favorite dish of the night, and I happily scarfed it down. It was perfectly cooked and seasoned, and although the mere taste of seafood isn’t my cup of tea, it was not at all too fishy.

Dessert tamale with a shot of spiced coconut milk.

The last course was a tasty dessert: a sweet corn tamale atop a chocolate and dulce de leche sauce, accompanied by a shot of spiced coconut milk. I wasn’t too sure if there was any alcohol in the coconut milk, but since we were all drinking those cocktails throughout the entire service, who the hell could tell?

Overall, the dinner was good — although, personally, I felt that Pujol and Cosme circa 2016 were a little better. For the amount of food and drink that was served, it was a great deal for such refined dining (it helps with the monetary conversion rate between Mexico and the US). If you’re ever in Oaxaca, I’d recommend trying Criollo once — not just for the food, but the overall ambience the restaurant and the city of Oaxaca provides.

April 28, 2017 By Phillip Retuta

12,419 Days Alive!

I turned 34 on Tuesday, at 9:19 am.

I wasn’t too sure how my birthday would be celebrated, but if I had it my way, it’d be spent ordering a pizza, playing Persona 5, and potentially making dog videos. Of course, my friends had something else in mind:

At the stroke of midnight on April 25th, my roommate came out of her room and presented to me a slice of birthday cake from Butter & Scotch; a great start, in my opinion. The next day at work, my officemates took me out to lunch at Totto Ramen and were gracious enough to pay for my meal.

As I was slurping down my spicy ramen and drinking half a beer I shared with my supervisor, I kept on getting an unrecognized call from a New York City area code. At first, I thought it was a robo-call (who else has been getting a lot of these lately?), but as I we walked back to our office, I answered it after the 5th attempt: it was a delivery guy from Domino’s. It was hard to understand him at first, and the order initially took me by surprise; I thought it was a mistake. I then realized it was probably Brett Harmon delivering a pizza from his vacation in Hanoi. He confirmed it after sending me a text on a phone number with a bajillion numbers and a “+” sign. It was indeed a surprise pizza attack.

Immediately after work, I met up with Gino at his office. He said he was going to take me out to dinner, but refused to tell me where — yet another surprise. After he put on a classy suit, he lead me out into the rain and onto a train heading uptown. We got off 34th street, passed through Macy’s to avoid the rain, and dragged me to Keen’s Steakhouse: one of the oldest restaurants in NYC and voted one of the top ten steakhouses in the city.

After two glasses of wine, and 45 minutes surpassing our 7:15pm reservation, we were seated in “The Moose Room,” a semi-private dining area whose walls were adorned with century-old photos and a giant moose head. The entire ceiling was covered with fishermen pipes. Seated next to us at adjoining tables were European tourists in fanny packs and what looked like an unmarried couple from Asia who kept on ordering steak and lobster and more steak and more complimentary bread.

Gino took care of the order entirely, so I can’t recall what exactly we had: it was just a slab of steak — perhaps the tenderest, juiciest steak I’ve ever had — french fries, and cauliflower. We ordered an entire bottle of wine and ate like men.

For dessert, he let me choose. I decided to get a Lady M dark chocolate cake, thinking it was one of that restaurant’s famous layered-crepe cake. Now I’ve never seen Gino eat chocolate, so it came as a surprise to see him eat a few bites. I figured that since he was pretty much paying for the entire meal, he’s entitled to eat things he normally doesn’t eat.

After Gino paid the check (still no clue how much it cost), we walked towards the exit and passed Christian Bale. He was a lot shorter than I had imagined and sort of scrawny, so I guess it’s true that the camera adds two inches and 10 pounds. Perhaps he was physically transforming himself for a new role; who knows?

We walked 4 blocks north, in the rain, to The Skylark — a swanky cocktail bar atop a skyscraper overlooking the entire city. I’ve been there before, but with the rainclouds obscuring the even taller buildings, the view looked amazing. The clouds just seemed to devour anything over 20 stories.

Two martinis later, and we called it a night.

All in all, it was a good birthday: small and relatively low-key in the sense that it wasn’t a boozy rager. It made me feel like I can gracefully transition into my mid-3o’s, to an adult. So to quote Blink-182, “Well, I guess this is growing up.”

April 23, 2017 By Phillip Retuta

Queens Night Market.

I went to the first preview day of the Queens Night Market, a ticketed affair that showcases food and retail vendors at the New York Hall of Science. For $5, one can taste all sorts of Asian, South American, and Eastern European foods before it’s open to the public — for free — later in the spring.

All the food and drinks cost under $6, so a twenty can take you a long way here. Nonetheless, waiting in line for a single food vendor can be up to 20 minutes, plus an additional 15 minutes for your food to be prepared. I recall waiting in line to get a pork bun, only to wait for my number to get called once it was prepared; I ended up going to another food line and the ATM in the meantime.

It’s all worth it though, as the worldly, street-style cuisine is unique; finding Japanese octopus balls, Chilean Arepas, or Urkanian perogies in one, localized area is hard to find — even in any neighborhood in New York.

Here’s what I had:

Cbao’s Korean-Style Bulogi Bun: the meat was so juicy, and they loaded it with spring onions. The rice bun is much larger than any bun I’ve ever had, so at $5 it was a deal.

Lahi’s Filipino Lumpia: ground pork and garlic and onions in a fried eggroll wrapper. It’s very reminiscent of what I can cook.

The Malaysian Project’s Kaya Toast: my favorite dish of them all. It’s regular toast with brown butter, coconut jam, and pandan. The snack is sweet and savory, and who doesn’t like butter?

Yes, the atmosphere was a little hectic, and the place was completely packed by 7:30pm (it opened at 6). I particularly didn’t like the music; it reminded me of a local county fair. Still, the food was awesome, and if you don’t mind waiting a lot and standing while eating, I highly recommend getting there early.

Here are more photos:

January 24, 2017 By Phillip Retuta

Delmonico’s.

For NYC Restaurant Week, we went to Delmonico’s in the Financial District. As one of the oldest restaurants in New York, I felt a sense of class and regency as we had a moderately-priced, three-course dinner. Bread, of course, was present, and I started my dinner with a nice glass of Malbec. My meal is as follows:

Roasted Beet Risotto with Smoked Bacon, Winter Greens, and Aged Goat Cheese.

Petit Filet Mignon with Roasted Cauliflower, Whipped Potatoes, and a Cabernet Wine Sauce.

Baked Alaska with Meringue, Walnut Cake, Banana Gelato, and Apricot Jam.

Overall, I thought the food was good but not the best that I’ve had in New York. It was certainly a traditional/class meal, but the atmosphere alone at Delmonico’s is worth the visit.

December 29, 2016 By Phillip Retuta

Christmas on the West Coast.

Literally two days after I came back from my Cuba trip, I boarded a plane (well, 3 planes if you want to get technical) towards California: it was the holidays, and as my parents grow older I wanted to spend Christmas with my entire family. As the years go on, I feel that pessimistic side of me growing, and I don’t want to ultimately be regretful that I didn’t spend enough time with them; I’m fully aware of the notion that they won’t be around forever. Seeing my loving family brings an indescribable joy and warmth in my life that I can’t get here – over 2,700 miles away – in New York. Granted, I saw them recently on Thanksgiving, but I looked forward to the extended vacation and the time I would have devoted to them. Not only would I be with my family, but also I wouldn’t have to worry about work, maintaining social obligations, or even my dog. I could actually fucking relax.

My older brother picked me up at Ontario airport in the afternoon, about two days from Christmas Eve, and I pondered what exactly I should get my family as a present. I wanted to give them something utilitarian, something that they’d actually use. Furthermore, I wanted to give them something they’d all enjoy, but my family has accrued almost everything that could make them technologically savvy. My gift would have to be affordable, so a laptop was out of the question. I ended up giving my parents and my brother a Spotify Premium Family Account, because if there’s one thing I know that my family likes as a whole, it’s listening to music. They’d also get the option to listen to anything they want, and a paid Spotify account gives them the freedom to pick and choose any artist or genre of music.

Jesus, I sound like a marketing ad.

On Christmas Eve, my aunts, uncle, and cousin came over to our house. I managed to cook nearly the entire dinner, including: a roasted turkey, cornbread stuffing, bourbon-honey ham, and mashed potatoes. My traditional Filipino family enjoyed what was a traditional American meal, and I’m happy that they were to stomach my cooking without vomiting or having spastic seizures. For the rest of the night, we all played poker, and I managed to happily take over eighty dollars from my relatives through my sheer sense of cunningness.

The next day — on actual Christmas — my parents, brother, and I drove to Las Vegas. It was on a whim, as my mom and dad agreed we should do something fun while I’m in California. We went last year, exactly on Christmas Day too, and I suppose this has or will become an annual tradition. The usual 3-hour drive across the barren deserts of California and Nevada was a little boring, save for the few moments I was captivated by the empty yet beautiful scenery around me. Inspired by the environment, a part of me got a brilliant idea of making a video where I’d be crawling around the desert and my dog Nico would give me water. Kind of like Jesus. Still, on a logistical level, I guess I should have been concerned about snakes or poisonous insects.

I booked a room at the Excalibur, as it was an affordable hotel immediately adjacent to The Strip. Just like last year, nearly all the casinos were packed with people wanting to spend the holidays gambling away their Christmas money or winter bonuses. It was quite a spectacle to see entire families – clad in Santa hats and red-and-green scarves pulling slot machine levers, smoking cigarettes, and carrying around obscenely large daiquiris in plastic tubes. Even though the casinos were open, a lot of restaurants in Vegas were not. The only place open was Denny’s, so my family and I had Grand Slams and Moons Over My Hammy for Christmas Day dinner.

Overall, Vegas was a lucrative learning experience: I used to love playing the “Lobstermania” and “Walking Dead” penny slots, but the gaming commission updated both those machines into “Lobstermania 3” and “Walking Dead 2”, and these new iterations didn’t have many fun bonuses to win at. In fact, I initially lost $80 in a span of 15 minutes. Undeterred at my losses, I instead turned to roulette and played a slow game: for several hours, I played the same numbers (all derivatives of my lucky numbers of 7 and 3), and I managed to profit about $300. I know I’m certainly going to use that money towards either a PS4 or expensive dog costumes.

On my last few days in California, I wanted to explore Los Angeles proper a little. My brother and I drove as close as we could to the Hollywood sign, but since that area is closed off I enjoyed the sight of the mansions and rich enclaves of Mulholland Drive. I wondered what celebrities lived on these winding streets of the Hollywood Hills and if I could manage to get a glimpse of one of them scooping up their dog’s shit or carrying out organic groceries from their cars. I suppose they have assistants to do that.

2016-12-27-18.01.32

Afterwards, I once again went to LACMA. Above all else, I wanted to see The Rain Room, but it appears to have been sold out for the rest of the year. Nonetheless, I paid the tickets to actually enter the museum and capture the sights of yet another James Turrell exhibit, Japanese folk art, and some of LA’s contemporary artists. My brother stated that he was “able to feel cultured.”

The nine days I spent in Southern California was what I needed: I was able to not worry about anything – especially any responsibilities I had back in New York – and I got to spend some quality time with my entire family. A vacation that lasts longer than a week is what I need to revitalize my headspace, and I couldn’t have been more satisfied to spend it with the people that I love.