Food

May 14, 2020 By Phillip Retuta

Recipe: Spam and Charred Pineapple Fried Rice.

I wanted to get back to my Filipino roots a bit by cooking with Spam and Vienna Sausage. I used to eat that shit so much as a kid, but as a teenager and young adult, I found those canned meats to be repulsive. Now that I’m a lot older, I’ve grown to reaccept those pseudo-meats my mom fed me, and I figured I could perhaps class it up. Using the black garlic I made and the culinary torch my friend’s parents gave me a few Christmases ago, I wanted to create something sweet and savory that harkened back to my Filipino heritage.

Fried rice, motherfuckers.

Ingredients:

1 can of Spam (7 oz), cubed
1 can of Pineapple Chunks (8.25 oz), drained and finely chopped
1 can of Vienna Sausage (4.6 oz), drained and chopped
3 tablespoons of Soy Sauce
3 cloves of Black Garlic, finely chopped
1/3 of a Yellow Onion, finely chopped
1 egg
1 cup of Brown Rice
1 cup of Chicken Stock
1 teaspoon of Bacon Fat
2 stalks of Scallion, chopped
Pepper to taste

1. First of all, you’ll need a culinary/creme brûlée torch. The one that was gifted to me didn’t contain fuel (naturally, because it’s an explosive), but I had the misfortune of buying a Zippo butane refuel canister from Amazon. After waiting 3 week for it to arrive, it didn’t fit into the bottom of my torch, and I’m pretty sure I got high or even developed a tumor as it leaked butane inside my apartment. The next day, I went to the hardware store and got a universal tip refuel canister, and now the torch works perfectly.

2. Place the rice in a mesh strainer and wash under the sink. This will remove some of the starch.

3. Either in a rice cooker or a large pot, cook the rice with the chicken stock (always remember when cooking rice, it’s a 1-to-1 liquid-rice ratio). The rice should be tender and not that sticky.

4. In a large frying pan, add the bacon fat and cook till fully rendered. Cook using medium to high heat.

5. Sauté the black garlic, the chopped onions, and pineapple till the onions are semi-translucent. Set aside in a bowl.

6. In the same pan, cook the Spam and the Vienna Sausage. There’s enough sodium and fat in both of these, so no need for additional salt or oil — in fact, the soy sauce is salty as it is. Cook until brown.

7. Add, in the same pan, the egg and mix with a spatula — cook till it’s like scrambled eggs.

Such a simple dish. About 30 minutes to prep and cook and serve.

8. Add the cooked rice into the pan with half the pineapple/garlic/onion mixture, stirring often.

9. Add 3 tablespoons of the soy sauce to cook and coat the rice. The liquid should essentially deglaze the pan from any burnt or crispy bits sticking to the bottom. Next, add some pepper to taste.

10. Finally, add 3/4 of the chopped scallions. You don’t want to overcook or burn it, so once it’s fully incorporated, remove the pan from the heat.

11. Transfer the fried rice to a serving bowl, and top with the remaining pineapple/garlic/onion mixture. Using the culinary torch, char the pineapple till brown or even blackened.

12. Garnish the dish with the remaining 1/4 of scallions.

May 13, 2020 By Phillip Retuta

Recipe: Matcha Cookies with Almond and White Chocolate.

Ingredients:

2 and 1/2 tablespoons of Matcha Green Tea Powder
1 and 1/4 cups of All-Purpose Flour
1 cup of Powdered Sugar
Pinch of Salt
2 Egg Yolks
1/2 cup of White Chocolate Chips
1/2 cup of Slivered Almonds
1 teaspoon of Vanilla Extract
2/3 half a stick of Salted Butter, Softened

1. Using a sifter, combine flour and matcha powder in a large bowl.

2. In a separate bowl and using a mixer, cream together the butter, powdered sugar, salt, and the vanilla extract. Add the egg yolks to the wet mixture and combine till light and fluffy.

3. Next, gradually add the flour mixture: add a quarter of it, mix, and repeat till you get a green paste. You can stop mixing now.

4. Using a rubber spatula, fold in the almonds and white chocolate chips.

5. Split the dough into 2 large balls and place them into separate sheets of plastic wrap. Seal the sheets and create a 2-inch log that resembles a green turd wrapped in Saran Wrap.

6. Place in the freezer for 3 hours, so the dough hardens.

7. In two hours and 15 minutes, preheat the over to 300 degrees.

8. Take the logs out and remove the plastic wrap. Using a sharp knife, cut the dough logs into 1/4-inch thick discs.

9. Place the discs, 1 and 1/2 inches apart, onto a parchment-lined baking sheet. Put in the oven and bake for about 25 minutes. Cool the cookies on a cooling rack.

May 3, 2020 By Phillip Retuta

Recipe: Black Garlic Everything Bagels.

I was at the grocery store a week ago and added scallion cream cheese to my shopping list. However, since I don’t go out that often and in my rush to get all the groceries I’d need for the next week or two, I forgot to buy bagels. Unpacking and disinfecting everything that I bought, I decided I might as well make some. This bagel recipe is a variation of what I found on Sophisticated Gourmet, but I’m also using the black garlic I made a few weeks ago.

The end result was super tasty and surprisingly simple. Still, the sheer fact that you can make homemade bagels will surely impress your friends and family. The following recipe primarily uses a kitchen scale rather than cups, adding more credence of what a culinary expert you want to appear to be.

Bagel Ingredients:

6 grams of active dry yeast (1/4 or 1/3 of a packet)
4 and 1/2 teaspoons of sugar
300 ml of warm water, with 1/4 cup of extra warm water
500 grams of high protein/gluten flour (I used semolina for it’s high gluten)
All-purpose flour for kneading
1 1/2 teaspoons of salt
1 globe of black garlic, finely chopped
Olive oil

Bagel Boil:

A large pot of boiling water
1 tablespoon of honey
1 teaspoon of baking soda

Bagel Toppings:

1 egg at room temperature
1/2 cup of water
1/2 globe of black garlic, finely chopped
1/4 of a Sweet Vidalia onion, finely chopped
1/2 tablespoon of ground black pepper
1 tablespoon of caraway seeds
1 tablespoon of poppy seeds
1 tablespoon of sesame seeds
1 tablespoon of fennel seeds
1 tablespoon of chives
Coarse sea salt

1. Let’s first prep the toppings. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees, and on a parchment-lined pan, spread the chopped black garlic and the onions out. I next put all the seeds (caraway, poppy, sesame, and fennel) into individual ramekins next to the onions and garlic. I baked the seeds and the vegetables for about 30 minutes, slightly roasting and dehydrating them.

2. Next, it’s time to make the bagel dough. Combine the 300 ml of warm water, the sugar, and the yeast. Let that mixture activate for 5 minutes or so.

3. In a large bowl, combine the salt and the semolina flour till fully blended. Add the yeast mixture and that extra water and stir till the dough stops sticking to the sides of the bowl. Transfer the dough onto a floured surface. Add that 1 globe of finely chopped black garlic, and begin kneading for about 10 minutes with your hands. Sprinkle some flour, if necessary, and make sure none of that dough sticks to your hands.

4. Transfer the dough ball to a bowl and drizzle some olive over it. Toss it around for a bit, making sure the entire surface of the ball is covered. Put a wet kitchen cloth over the bowl, and let it rise/proof for an hour.

5. Preheat the oven to 425 degrees, and start boiling 1/2 a gallon of water in a very large pot. Add the baking soda and the honey, and let it all heat up till you get a gentle rolling boil.

6. Make an eggwash using the egg and the water. Mix completely.

7. After an hour of the dough proofing, poke/punch the dough a little bit to deflate it. Using a kitchen scale, measure out about 78-81 grams of the dough to roll into a ball. This will be a single bagel.

8. Roll that small piece of dough (use flour if necessary) with your hands, till you see no creases.

Bread like a hole, black garlic as your soul.

9. Using your fingers, press a hole into the center of the ball — pretty much making a very small donut. Repeat with the remaining dough (78-81 grams each!), and let the bagels rest for about 10 minutes. I yielded about 14 bagels.

10. Add the bagels (I did 4 at time) into the boiling water mixture. The bagels will initially sink to the bottom of the pot, but as it cooks it will rise to the surface. Once they do, using a slotted spoon, flip the bagel and let it boil for 2 minutes on each side.

11. Take the bagels out and place them on a cooling rack. Using a pastry brush, brush each bagel with the eggwash mixture. Next, sprinkle the slightly roasted onions, black garlic, seeds, pepper, sea salt, and chives over each bagel. After you’re done with your toppings, put the nearly finished bagel on a parchment-lined baking sheet.

Toppings stumble and they fall. Everything bagel to everyone (that’s an Everclear reference).

12. Once you have all the bagels boiled and sprinkled with toppings, pop them into the 425 degree oven for 25 minutes, or until golden brown.

13. Let that shit cool, and enjoy!

April 27, 2020 By Phillip Retuta

Recipe: Fermentation Sunday.

I decided to create kombucha and a sourdough starter today, now that I have the appropriate equipment of hermetic jars, bread pans, and a kitchen scale. For intents and purposes, the following recipes is a hodgepodge of recipes I’ve seen online and from friends, and I decided to write about it here so I have an easier time finding the steps.

SOURDOUGH STARTER:

Day 1: Measure 113g of whole wheat flour and 113g of cool water. Combine in a jar — for me, I decided to use one of those latched hermetically-sealed jars. Mix the flour and the water till fully combined, and close the lid (but don’t seal/latch it; air needs to get in). Leave the jar at room temperature for 24 hours. I also marked the jar with the date, so I can keep track of the days.

Day 2: If there is any brown liquid, discard immediately; keep doing that each day, if necessary. That brown liquid means the starter is hungry! Scoop out 1/2 a cup of the starter and discard. Next, add 1/2 a cup of all-purpose flour and 1/2 a cup of cool water, and mix thoroughly.

Day 3: By now, bubbles should be forming and the starter should have a sweet, aromatic smell of yeast. The starter should have also doubled in size. At this point, it’s time to “feed” your starter twice a day: discard any brown liquid, remove half a cup of the yeast, feed it 1/2 a cup of water and 1/2 a cup of all-purpose flour, and mix. Repeat this 12 hours later. It also helps to mark the jar with a rubber band or a Sharpie, so you can also track the rise and fall of the starter.

Day 4 & 5: Again — twice a day — discard any brown liquid, discard 1/2 a cup of the starter, and feed it 1/2 a cup of all-purpose flour and 1/2 cup of water. The starter should continue to bubble and double in volume.

Day 6: The starter should require one last feeding, so repeat the process of discarding and adding flour and water. The starter is ready if a spoonful of it floats in a cup of water.

Storing the Starter: You can keep the jar of starter in the fridge, thereby slowing the growth of the yeast. Just be sure to discard any brown liquid, and feed it once a week by discarding 1/2 a cup of the starter, and giving it 1 cup of all-purpose flour and 1/2 a cup of water.

KOMBUCHA:

For this, you’ll need the following:

1/2 gallon of water (or 8 cups)
3-4 tea bags of either green tea or black tea
1/3 cup of sugar
1/2 cup of plain, already made kombucha
1 SCOBY disc (Symbiotic Community of Bacteria and Yeast)

Simmer the water and dissolve the sugar.
Steep the teabags for 10 to 15 minutes.
Remove the teabags (I used the ground tea as fertilizer for my garden) and allow the mixture to cool to room temperature.
Add the cooled mixture to a large container. Add the kombucha and the SCOBY disc (thanks, Morgan).
Cover the top of the container with a paper coffee filter and a rubber band.
Store the mixture in a dark, clean, and coolish place, away from any light. I put it in a pillowcase and placed it underneath my kitchen table, but if I had a closet that wasn’t full of shit, I’d put it there.
Wait for two weeks as the mixture ferments and carbonates. Congrats, you just made a SCOBY Hotel!

I’ll probably post more recipes using these starters, so stay tuned.

April 18, 2020 By Phillip Retuta

Recipe: Marble Cherry-Red Velvet Cheesecake.

Day 32 of self-isolation.

While scrolling through Facebook the other day, I stumbled across a video of someone making a marble cheesecake using some Red Velvet cake mix. Using the knowledge I know of baking and design, I decided to make my own spin of it based off a cheesecake recipe I found on AllRecipes.com.

Cherry and chocolate make a great combo (I remember, back in the suburbs of Chicago, getting a white chocolate and cherry Oreo frappe at Gloria Jean’s), so I figured it’d make a great recipe. It’s perfect for Valentine’s Day, but you can have this whenever the fuck you want.

Here’s the recipe — with .gifs!

Crust:

20 Oreo cookies
5 tablespoons of butter, melted
1 teaspoon of salt

Cheesecake Filling:

3 8oz. packages of cream cheese, room temperature
3/4 cup of sugar
3 large eggs, room temperature
1 cup of sour cream, room temperature
2 teaspoons of vanilla extract
1/4 cup of Red Velvet cake mix
1 teaspoon of cherry extract

1. In a food processor or blender, combine the Oreos, melted butter, and the salt until you get a texture resembling wet sand.

2. Grease and flour the sides and bottom of a 9-inch spring-form cake pan; this will prevent the crust and the cheesecake from sticking too much.

3. Press the cookie mixture to the bottom of the pan and chill in the refrigerator for at least 20 minutes.

4. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

5. Using an electric mixer, combine the cream cheese and sugar till smooth. Add each egg individually: one at a time till mixed completely, then add the next egg.

6. Add the sour cream and the vanilla, until fully blended.

7. Split the batter by pouring half of it into a second bowl.

8. In one bowl, blend the Red Velvet cake mix and the cherry extract.

9. Pour a little bit of the regular, white batter into the crust. Next, pour a little bit of the Red Velvet batter over the white batter, forming a ring of white batter with a red center. Keep on alternating and pouring the different batters until done.

10. Run a stick (or in my case, a chopstick) from the edge of the pan to the center. Repeat around the pan till you get a spider-web pattern. Alternatively, you can randomly run it across the batter to create a more marble look.