Music

February 16, 2020 By Phillip Retuta

Happy Birthday, Nico.

I’ve lived in New York for over a decade, and that entire time my dog Nico has been with me. She would have been 14 today.

Here’s my tribute to her and the city I love. After she had her tumor removed and was declared cancer-free, I knew we were still together on borrowed time. Throughout the course of her remaining year, I wanted to take Nico to some of her favorite spots: Williamsburg, Prospect Park, and all the old places she used to know for the 10 years we’ve been in New York. I also wanted to take her to places she’s never been before: Coney Island, Washington Square Park, etc. I’d bring my camera with me, and so this video was made.

The polaroid scenes were obviously taken post her passing; I truly wished we had more time to visit these places.

The significance of the white bandana is important: I gave it to her when she was first adopted in Urbana-Champaign, and she wore a white bandana when I let her go in arms, in the confines of my apartment in Brooklyn. A white bandana was Nico’s signature look (well, aside from the husky aspects or the heterochromatic eyes). I carried a spare each time we went out to shoot, just to swap whatever fashionable bandana I initially put on her with a white one. Consistency, folks!

This video also serves as my eventual love letter to New York. When I leave, I want to remember this city with the dog I loved so much. Being with Nico definitely helped shape who I am today.

Happy Birthday, Nico. Always and forever.

June 6, 2017 By Phillip Retuta

Broken Social Scene’s “Hug of Thunder.”

“All along we’re going to feel some numbness. Oxymoron of our lives. Getting fed up by that hunger; supersize we’ve found inside. He won’t know what’s real or numbness. Catching up and climbing high. Speaking like a hug of thunder, lit up by the lights of dusk outside.”

February 2, 2016 By Phillip Retuta

The Past Is Told By Those Who Win.

61805873_6b837c02a5_o I’ve been listening to Jimmy Eat World’s 2004 album, Futures, today. It’s bringing back a lot of memories of undegrad, and when it was first released it inspired me to produce a series for my first photography class:

The combination of emo-pop and looking at these photos are bringing back those feelings of both being creative and inherently lonely: when Futures came out, I lost contact with some of my best friends, and I struggled with school and family. My head simply wasn’t in a good place, but it lead me to the path of being an artist and designer as a career. To me, loneliness and creativity go hand-in-hand: I’m at my most inspired and do my favorite work when I halt all social interactions. Now, at 32, I’m especially too busy with my job, my time is limited, and a few number of my friends are acting like bullies. I lost the desire to make things and, on the time I had left outside making money, I got too caught up with going out or stressing over menial chores. I didn’t want to be alone, I wanted to support myself financially, I wanted to have the clean house with the nice things — that combination halted whatever desire I had to draw or write or do anything for my emotional enrichment. With no outlet, I began to sink into depression.

I think I’m going to continue doing my own thing and focusing solely on being creative. In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve been properly maintaining and updating not only this blog, but my Instagram, my dog’s Instagram, Tumblr, Twitter, and some other social media outlets. I’ve been drawing again. And of course, I’ve been writing. These are the ways to get my head clear, and they make me feel that whatever free time I have is being utilized properly. I’m producing work instead of just going out to a bar or restaurant with friends or hanging around someone’s apartment. I’m feeding my soul.

Being a loner or recluse has its benefits, and it’s inspiring.

January 26, 2016 By Phillip Retuta

Grimes – Art Angel

I’ve been really into Grimes lately. Not only is her newest album, Art Angels, one of my favorite albums of 2015, I’ve been digging her style and creative direction, as explained through a series of interviews and mini-documentaries. In the video above, it’s apparent that she does a lot of the work herself (including the illustrations on her albums). I love learning more about her process, and how she is pretty damn defiant and self-motivated to define her own image and work. In the interview, she portrays herself with a combination of talent, innovation, mania, and geekiness — things I’m starting to associate with the level of genius. How can I be more like that? Like, an artist?

Grimes – Realiti: